i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
