Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
