There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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