I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
