Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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