Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
