I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
