Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
