As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
