am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
