I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Enjoy the penises
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
