Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Soap is not a condiment
We named our party play list daddy issues
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
