You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
