from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
