put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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