when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
