shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
