Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
