i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize
