Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
