I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
