that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I think my vagina is haunted
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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