Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Soap is not a condiment
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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