bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
