I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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