You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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