marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
