These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
