Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
