It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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