His pubic hair was longer than his dick
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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