just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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