Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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