eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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