I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
