If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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