I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
