My friends, they love my intelligence
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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