turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
The air was thick with penises
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
