is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
