Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
