haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
