Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
