it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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