I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
