i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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