I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
