Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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