I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
