Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
