Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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