Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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