fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
