Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I just found a bag of teeth...
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
