what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
