Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
