I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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